Rising Star (English)
by brittvis
Summary: The life of Renesmee when she grows up.
1. Preface

_Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!_

_Have fun reading._

_*I don't own anything from Twilight.*_

* * *

**RISING STAR:**

_**Preface**_

Change is hars. Suddenly trowing everyting around, everything that was so familiar, everything that felt so good. It's hard to see how it's gonna be after the change. Maybe it's better, but maybe it's worse…

Sometimes something changes completely, that suddenly everything is different. Different than you want it to be. Than, change is unbearable.

It's hard, unbearable, but it has to happen, even though you're not ready. Sometimes you have to make the dicision that changes everything, before it's to late…


	2. Chapter 1: Birthday

_Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!_

_Have fun reading._

_*I don't own anything from Twilight.*_

* * *

**RISING STAR:**

_**Chapter 1. Birthday.**_

'Honey, get up.'  
My mother. Fuzzy and still half asleep I turned around and hoped that she would go away.

'Today is the big day!'

At once, i sat up. Today was the big day, the I looked foward to for weeks. My birthday. Finally a party, finally presents. Finally 5.

Quickly I got up and put the clothes on that I laid out the day before. I bought them two weeks ago with Alice. Alice made me look gorgeous at this day. My day.

I did my hair, while my mother was still at the door looking at me. She made herself decent for the occasion. I didn't understand how she could survive in the same oversised sweater and jeans everyday. I even wanted to look pretty in my sleep. But there were other reasons for that. I was the only one in the family that slept, so the others enjoyed watching me dream. Kind of irritaring.

When I was done with my make-up, I stood up.

'Well, what do you think?' I asked.

'You look stunning.'

I looked in the mirror. She was right. I did look great. My outfit was wonderful, thanks to Alice, my hair was exactly like I wanted. Everything was perfect on this day.

My mother stood next to me. She was small, a lot smaller than me. She told me how weird it was for her, that I grew so fast. It was normal for me. I didn't know anything else.

Carlisle did a lot of research after I was born. After a while he discovered that I was one year old in three months. When I was just born, I grew faster, but the aging got slower. I looked like a seventeen year old now, just like my father. But I didn't feel like that, and luckily we weren't tight about that. We only celebrated my birthday once a year. And I was five years old, since today.

Suddenly, I wanted to get home as fast as possible. Celebrate. I didn't sleep in the big house of the Cullens. My parents had their own house, somewhere in the woods. I liked having a place of my own.

I started running, making my steps as big as I could. My mother followed me. From a mile away I saw al the lights. Alice showed off again and the house looked awesome.

Everyone was there. Carlisle and Esme, my grandparents, stood next to the stairs. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper sat on the couch. Grandpa Charlie stood next to Carlisle. Seth and Leah where in the corner, as far away from everyone as possible. My father sat behind the piano and Jacob was right next to the door. He grabbed me as soon as possible and gave me a tight hug and a kiss on the head.

'Happy birthday, sweet Ness.'

Meanwhile Alice came in with a cake with five candles and my father started playing a melody. I only regonized the song after everyone started singing.

'Happy Birthday to you , happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Renesmee, happy birthday to you.'

Alice put me on a chair and the song was sang again. Then, I blew out the candles in one time, so I could make a wish. Alice cut the cake and gave everyone a piece. So I ate a piece of cake, mostly because I didn't want to scare grandpa Charlie. It was eatable for me, because I was half human. But my mother always said that human food tasted like soil for her, so for me it tasted ok. I gobbled the cake , I wanted my presents.

As discrete as possible I put my hand on Jacobs cheek and showed him what I wanted. He grinned and walked to Seth.

'Time for presents.' Said Jacob and pushed Seth to me.

Seth gave me a big hug. 'Happy birthday Nessie.' He gave me my present. 'From Leah and me.'

I didn't bother guessing what was in the box, I just opened it.

'We worked togother with Jacob.'

The present was small. It was a necklace, without hanger. Curious I looked to Jacob. Would he have the hanger?

'Patience lady, not so curious.' He said with a big grin on his face. I smiled.

'Thank you.'

Seth gave me a hug. And then, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper stood in front of me. They all gave me a kiss first and then Rosalie pushed a rectangular packet in my hand. This time, I removed the paper slowly. In my hands lay a notebook with a locket on it. I had no idea what it was. Rose figured I didn't know.

'It's a diary, you can write all your thoughts and feelings in there. The lock is on, so that we can't read it.' She smiled at me. I had always seen Rose as a second mother. Rose was always more caring than the rest.

I put the key in the lock and turned it. All the pages where empty, for me to fill. I loved the present.

'Thank you.'

Grandpa Charlie gave me books that where my moms once. Alice gave me new shoes and Carlisle and Esme gave me a big present. A huge present. They gave me a piano for in my parents house. Just like my dad, I loved music. I had his talents with the piano. I loved playing the piano. But I mostly loved singing. And everyone liked when I maked music. I loved the attention.

Then, it was Jacobs turn. I was very curious for his present. From his back pocket he pulled a little pouch. I put my hand foward. With a big smile he shook my hand.

'Happy birthday big girl.' I laughed. He grabbed me once again and kissed my head, again. Then, he finally gave me the pouch.

Carefully I loosened the string and I let the contents of the bag fall on my palm. It was a wooden hanger, a heart. In the heart, a little wolf was carved, with many details.

'Did you make this?' I asked. I was impressed. Jacob nodded, with a big, proud grin.

I thought it was beautiful. More than that, it was magical. With shaking hands, I put the hanger on the necklace. I looked even prettier on my neck. I was so proud that I could wear it.

'The same as your mothers.' Said Jacob proud.

I looked at the bracelet of my mother, I always was so jealous of that. Now, I had one too.

'Thank you. It really is beautiful.' I jumped in his arms and he spinned me around. He put me down, laughing.

Suddenly, somebody grabbed me from the back and everything was dark. I screamed. What was happening? Everyone was laughing and I didn't understand why. I was totally panicked.

'Calm down, Renesmee. It's just a bandage.' I heard my mothers voice in my ear. Finally I knew. The next present, the present of my parents.

My mother grabbed me and started to lead me outside, slowly. She did that on purpose. I wanted to run, because I didn't have to be scared that something would happen to me. My other senses where strong enough.

To tease me, my mother walked really slow. I knew we were walking to the garage, even though I couldn't see.

My stomach itched of curiousity. What could it be? What did they get me?

Finally we stood still and my mother got my bandage off.

My mouth fell open of amazement when i saw my present. I didn't knew what to say. Before me stood a motorcycle, my motorcycle.

It was the best present ever. All I've ever wanted. The paintwork was white, with gorgeous silver flowers. The saddle and handles where made of light brown leather. It was the most beautiful motorcycle I've ever seen.

I screamed again, but not of fear this time. Then I runned to my parents to give them the biggest kiss ever. I sat on my motorcycle and turned the key.

'Wait a second. This isn't all of it.' My father said and turned the motor back off. 'We know Jacob learned you to drive. And we know you can take care of yourself if something happens, but just for the safety, we have this.' My father got me a helmet and a motorjacket. The helmet had the same pattern in it as the bike and the jacket was of the same light brown leather.

Quickly I put it all on and turned the key again. The bike came to live beneath me. I knew how to drive. Jake had thought me and i had practiced a lot on his bike and on my mothers. Now that finally my own bike was on, I stepped on the gas. I tore over the road across the house, as fast as possible. Because of the hard wind, my hair was messed up, but I didn't care. This day was perfect enough for me.

When I finished my thirth round, I stopped in front of the house again. Everyone stood there with a huge, proud grin. Except for Leah, she probably left. I understood her, it wasn't easy for her being in a house full of vampires. I guess she only was here because of Seth.

'Fashionista on a bike.' Alice said. I grinned and doubted if I would go on another round. But I turned the motor off, I had the whole afternoon to drive. My guest couldn't wait.

'Thank you all.' I said politely when we were inside again.

Emmett laughed his roaring laugh. 'We want something back.' He said.

I didn't understand what he ment. It was my birthday, I was supposed to get presents. At your birthday, you didn't have to give back.

But Jasper, who was standing next to the piano, pushed the piano stool back for me. Then I understood. They wanted a performance, a special birthday performance.

I was exited when I found my place behind the piano. First I studied all the keys. I never played existing songs. I played what popped into my mind and sang what went with it. Sometimes I wrote it down, than I made my own song, but mostly I didn't like it enough.

Today, as ever, my fingers flew over the keys without me concentrating. I sang what popped into my mind and I lost myself in my music. I could go on forever. Just making music, totally in my own world. I made images in my head. I saw a meadow with thousands of flowers. In the middle of the meadow, there were two people, in love. They sparkled in the sun. They looked like my parents. My mother always told me stories about the meadow, where she went with my father. This song was about them.

My father came next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. Without interrupting my song, I looked up. He whispered in my ear: 'Time to make an end.'

I looked at the clock, I didn't know I was playing that long already. So I made a nice ending to the song. My fingers fell of the keys, and my hands fell in my leap. I got a standing ovation and I blushed.

Then, grandpa Charlie stood up. 'I don't want to ruin this awesome party, but I have to go to work.' My mother gave him his jacket.

'Thanks for being here, dad.' She gave him a hug.

'Of course Bells, always.' He gave her a kiss.

I runned to him and gave him a hug. 'Thanks, grandpa.'

'You're welcome, big girl.' He stroked my head.

Charlie left the house. We all listened how he drove away. Alice sneaked into the kitchen as soon as we all knew he was gone, she came in with my delicacy.

She held a warmed cup, as always. My parents didn't let me hunt far away. I could only hunt on the small animals in the district.

They quench the thirst, but a Grizzly-bear is much better. I only got that kind of delicacy on my birthday.

Alice gave me the hot cup, the steam came off. I immiediatly smelled what it was, Cheeta. My favorite.

I took a big drink, I felt the warm blood slide through my burning throath, it took a little bit of the pain with it. Before I knew, the cup was empty.

'Is there more?' I asked, every face in the room looked at me.

'Yes, for later.' Said my father laughing.

Exhausted, I fell on my bed that evening. I had an awesome day. I drove like a thousand rounds with Jacob on my new bike. We played a game, who would be home first and I won. For the first time ever I won.

My mother came in to tug me in.

'Was today as much fun as you expected?' She asked, while she picked up the clothes and threw it in the laundry basket. I was to tired to do it today.

'It was more fun.' I anwensered exhausted.

My mother tug me in and gave me a kiss.

'Have sweet dreams about it. Goodnight dear Renesmee.'

'Wait, does daddy know already?'

My father came in the doorstep.

'He's coming.' He grinned. 'Sweet dreams.'

My eyelids got heavy soon and I fell asleep.

I dreamed about an icecold night. In a tent, on an open spot. I was alone and I felt so lonely. It was snowing. I felt a harsh, cold gust and I shivered.

Suddenly it was warm, hot. Fuzzy I opened my eyes. I felt two warm, solid arms around me. My dad was right, he came.

'Jake.' I stammered sleepy, while I pushed deeper into his warm chest.

'I'm here, go to sleep.'

The tent was back in my dream, but it wasn't cold anymore. I had my own stove with me, my sweet brother Jacob. He was here for me since I can remember and he was the best brother someone ever had. He was more than a brother, he was my protector. He was made to be with me.


	3. Chapter 2: Change

_Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!_

_Have fun reading._

_*I don't own anything from Twilight.*_

* * *

**RISING STAR:**

_**Chapter 2. Change.**_

When I woke up the next morning, Jacob was already gone. It probably was his turn for a round and he thought I would have a good sleep. I decided to wait for him in the Cullens house.

Absently I runned to the house of the Cullens. When I came into the kitchen, everyone was sitting at the dinner table. I immediatly knew it ment trouble, otherwise they wouldn't sit together like that.

'Sit down, we have to tell you something.' My mother said calm.

I did what she said.

My father talked, he didn't speak around it, he said what was on his mind.

'Honey, we can't stay in Forks much longer. We need to leave soon…'

I was confused. I liked it here, all my friends were here, I felt at home, this was my place, Jacob was here.

'Why?'

'We pretend to be six years older than we really are. People are noticing, they're getting suspicious.'

'But I don't want to leave, I'm happy here.'

My mother took over. 'We know that, honey. We are also happy here. But we really can't stay.'

'Why not? Since when are we leaving because people are suspicious? We didn't do anything wrong.'

Carlisle took over. 'Darling, we need to think about the people around us. If they find out about our secret, we're much further from home.'

'Like they would find out about it that easy. What we are isn't obvious!'

'People know more than you know. Especially the Quileutes.'

'And? Billy would never send us away. And he's the head of the tribe.'

'There are other Quileutes who don't know us.'

'What kind of bad pretext is that? They won't do anything without Billy's permission. You guys know that! What is it that you don't tell? You can tell me, I'm not a child anymore.'

Everyone was doubting, then they looked at my father. He started talking.

'OK. Six years ago a lot of people were killed by an vampire army. We thought every corpse and witnesses were gone. But they found a body and they're examinating it now. If they find out the blood is drained out, they can find out about us.'

I sighed. I couldn't get out of that. People couldn't find out about our secret. That was the only vampire-rule. And I was really scared for the Volturi.

'There must be another solution.'

I wanted there to be another solution and I would devise it.

'We wanted that two, but we couldn't think of anything. We're really sorry.'

'But, what about Jacob?' I asked.

My mother looked at me, her look disappionted.

'We can visit him every month.'

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't live without Jacob. I wanted to scream. But before I could do something, I became very calm. Jasper was messing with my feelings. But, because I was calm, I could think. I tried to put everything in line. I didn't only want to see Jacob once a month, I wanted to be with him, always. If I had to leave, I wanted him to come with me.

'He should go too.' I suddenly was happy because of my briljant idea. 'I'm just going to ask him if he can come with us.'

I saw that my mother wanted to say something, but I was already running outside.

I searched the whole woods, but I couldn't find him. I hoped he'd be back soon, I wanted to talk to him right now.

I runned back to the house, and then I heared a bike coming. I started running faster, Jacob arirved before me.

'Do you want to come to the beach?' Jacob Asked.

'Yes, please.' I was already excited. There was no better place to talk than the beach.I had been there a lot, but it stayed breathtaking. The water was dark green, even in the sunlight. And there were beautiful cliffs with high tops. My mother told me she once jumped off of that en Jacob saved her because she almost died. It was a pity she didn't remember much because it was a human memory. That memory gets vague when you become a vampire, my mother told me that. My mother was a really good story teller, but she always told stories about the past five years. I wanted to know more, what happend before that?

I runned to my brand new bike and drove with him to La Push, to First Beach. We had put our bikes on the side and walked over the beach, made our way to the tree we always sat on. Jacob had told me once he always sat and talked there with my mom. And now, it was the tree of Jacob and me.

'I have to ask you something.' I said.

'Go ahead.' He said while he found a branch to sit on. I didn't sit.

'Well, I had a conversation with my family this morning and they want to move. They say it's to dangerous to stay in Forks, that people are getting suspicious.' I tried to use the same words of this morning.

'What?' Jacob looked at me, he was shocked. 'So, you guys are leaving? You can't! I can't live without you!' He started shaking.

'Yes, Jake calm down. We're leaving, but you can come with us, right?' He looked at me, still shaking.

'Ness.' He hissed between his teeth. 'I can't. I need to prorect my tribe.'

I looked at him until he stopped shaking.

'The pack is big enough. And, if we're not here, there are no vampires around. Sam can be alpha alone and…'

'I can't just leave my tribe! Even though the pack is big, if something happens, I have to be there. I can't betray my tribe, I can't leave my pack. I can't live without my brothers.' Jacob jumped up and walked around.

'But you can without me...' I felt the tears come up and I didn't want to cry.

'Huh?' Jacob didn't understand me. He stopped walking and looked at me.

'You can live without me.' I awnsered. I was crying now, I couldn't stop the tears.

He stood before me and grabbed me.

'That's not what I mean! Nothing in this world is more important to me than you. I mean, I want you to stay.' He wept the tears off my face.

I sighed and couldn't talk for a while. He looked at my while I was looking for my voice.

'I can't let my family go alone, they can't leave me. I can't live without my parents. I have to go…'

He still looked at me, but I saw in his eyes his decision was made.

'I have to stay…'

The silence that followed was long. We both didn't know what to say anymore. This problem had no solution. He couldn't come, I couldn't stay. We couldn't be together. Not anymore.

Slowly I realised that we would be apart soon, and I couldn't handle that.

'Don't cry, please.' Jacob tried to wiped away my tears, but there were to much. I couldn't stop them.

'I can't live without you.' I sobbed. 'I don't want to lose you.'

'We'll find a solution. Really. I'll think of someting. I promise.' He whiped away the last tears. Then he grabbed a tuft of hair and put it behind my ear, while he stroke my cheek with his fingertips. His warm hand felt good on my soft skin. I was totally preoccupied and didn't even notice him coming closer. Only when he pushed his mouth on mine, and he tried to open my mouth, I realised what was happening. I pushed his chest as hard as I could. He felt backwarts and almost landed between the branches of the fallen tree.

'What are you doing?' I yelled at him. I wiped my mouth with my hand. He wanted to kiss me. The boy who I had always seen as my brother, tried to kiss me. I looked at Jacob with nothing but horror. He needed some time to restore, but I wanted to leave. So I turned around.

'Wait.' He said. I stopped, with my back to him. I couldn't look him in the eye right now.

'I thought you were ready for this right now.'

I was speechless. How could he say that? Confused I turned around.

'I can be more than your brother, your protector. I can be the love of your life.'

I stared at him. 'Why would you?'

'Sit down.' He said, while he sat down on a branch. He took a deep breath.

'I'm in love with you, Ness. I want to make you happy. I want to grow old with you, I want to have kids with you. I want….'

He became silent. I started to realize what was happening. He didn't see me as a sister anymore, he was in love with me… He was in love with me… I couldn't believe it. I took a few deep breaths. I had to say someting, he was waiting for an awnser. But I couldn't think of anything. I didn't want it, I wanted everything to stay the same.

'Jake, I… I don't know what to say.'

I took a few deep breaths again, tried to make my brain work again.

'I can't do this. I can't be something else for you than family. I see you as my brother, Jake. I may look like seventeen, I behave like seventeen. But that's not how I feel, Jake. I feel like five, I'm five.

He sighed and looked at me.

'I was so happy you grew older fast. I was waiting for love. If I would have imprinted on a normal baby, I would have to wait sixteen years. I was so happy with you. You were pretty when you were a toddler, but look at you now. You are the prettiest girl I've ever seen. If I look at you now, I feel sparks everywhere. I feel this for you, right now and I don't want to wait anymore. I've waited so long for your mom and…'

I stared at him. 'What did you say?'

He realised he said a stupid thing and was shocked.

'Nothing. Forget I said that.'

I thought about it. He waited for my mother. What did he mean? What did that had to do with her love life? Suddenly al the pieces fell into place.

'You were in love with my mother?' I stared at him with big eyes.

'Ness, listen to me, let me explain.'

'You were in love with my mother!' I was sure. I was 100 percent sure. He was in love with my mother…

'Ness, just listen to me, I can explain.'

I looked at him.

'Listen. You are right. I was in love with Bella. Don't judge please. I want to tell you the whole story.'

He called my mothter Bella, I had to get used to that. He didn't know anything else. I tried to listen to him.

'Edward left Bella once, because he thought that was better for her. He moved with the whole family, one day he was just gone. Bella was broken by it.'

I didn't believe what he said. My parent were the most sticky people I've ever met. I had never seen people who loved each other more than them.

'I took care of Bella at that time, we were best friends. But I got deeper feelings for her. More than friends. And after I became a werewolf, the problems got bigger.

'But Edward came back and Bella choose him. I wanted to fight for the relationship between Bella and me, I was hopelessly in love with her. I almost died because she didn't know she was in love with me, she hurt me a lot. But when she finally found her true feelings, the wedding was already coming, and…'

'And you thought, I will go for her daugther.'

My mouth fell open of outrage.

'I'm sorry?' Jacob looked at me, shocked.

'My mother was taken, so you just picked me. You just used me to be near her!'

I was furious and stood up to leace.

'That's not what I mean. I imprinted on you, I can't help caring about you.'

'You can't help it? It was all just an exident. You didn't want this. You didn't want me…'

I wanted to walk away, but Jacob stopped me.

'Ness, wait, please, I don't mean…'

'Let me go!'

Furious I struggeled loose and let my legs go as fast as they could. I grabbed my bike and raced home. Because of the rage, my eyes were filled with tears and my sight on the road got fuzzy. Instead of slowing down, I made my bike go faster. I wanted to be home. The way home seemed to take twice as long, even though my bike was going faster than normal. Finally our garage got in sight. I put my bike in the garage and went on by foot. I runned to our cottage as fast as I could. Crying I went to my room, picked up my suitcase and started packing. My parents obviously heard and my mother stood in my room soon enough.

'What are you doing?' She asked indignantly.

'I'm packing, I want to leave. Can we move tomorrow?' Angry, I threw my clothes in my suitcase. My mother grabbed my arm.

'What happend?'

I couldn't move, my mother was much stronger than me. I looked away to hide my face.

'Nothing, OK? Ik just want to leave.'

She grabbed my chin and turned it to her, so that I had to look at her.

'All those tears are not nothing.'

'I don't want to talk about it. Can we just go?'

Slowly, my mother realised me and I grabbed the last clothes from my closet. But when I came back to my suitcase, my mother was already unpacking.

'Mom, what are you doing?'

'We're not leaving.' She said confident. She took another pile of clothes uit my suitcase.

'Yes we are. I have to go. Leave the stuff!' I yelled at her like I never did before. It didn't even feel good. But I couldn't control my rage. Everything had to come out.

'You can unpack the rest yourself.' She walked out of my room.

I didn't know what to do anymore. I hurted everyone now. Suddenly, all the anger was gone, everything was turned into hurt. And hatred. How could I turn everything against me? The two people I loved the most, were scared away in one hour. I dropped to the ground and burst into tears. All the emotions came out. I didn't know how long I layed there, time didn't matter. But after a while, the tears were gone and I was exhausted from all the emotions. There, on my bedroomfloor. I fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 3: Fate

_Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!_

_Have fun reading._

_*I don't own anything from Twilight.*_

* * *

**RISING STAR:**

**Chapter 3. Fate.**

In the middle of the night, I woke up because of the cold. I was in my bed again.

'Jacob?' I asked with a husky voice. I turned around, still half asleep. But his warm chest didn't lay next to me. Of course not.

I let my eyes adjust to the dark and then I saw my suitcase, still half packed, at the floor next to my bed. I noticed I was still wearing my jeans. I didn't want to change all of my clothes, so I walked to my suitcase and grabbed a sweater. Then I walked to the bedroom of my parents. They probably already heard I was awake, but I still knocked.

My parents weren't in their room. So I got back to bed and tried to sleep again and failed. So I runned to the Cullens house. Esme and Rosalie stared ahead in the living room. The rest of the house was empty. I immediately knew something was wrong.

'What happend?' I asked shocked.

Rosalie look to me. She didn't even notice I was here.

'Nothing special. Something in the woods. Everyone went. Alice said something about a newborn.'

A newborn, that was a new vampire, I knew that. What was he doing here? He didn't belong here. And why did everyone go there? If he was just passing by, we didn't have anything to do with it. Only if the newborn broke the rules, Carlisle would go.

'Who did he attack?' I asked worried.

Rosalie and Esme were shocked. They didn't expect me to figure that out. But I wasn't crazy. She was quiet for a moment.

'You can tell me, I'm sure I can handle it.'

It was silent, then Esme started talking.

'We heard a wolf cry.'

Shock. Jacob. No, please, don't let it be Jacob. I tried to think about other ways, I didn't care if anyone else was attacked. I would get over it if it was Seth or Leah or Sam. Just not Jacob. Please, not Jacob.

I tried to calm myself down. Jacob had duty the day before, he couldn't be it. He wouldn't be it.

Just when it couldn't get any worse, Emmett stormed inside. He was alone. Without thinking about it or looking through the room he threw it out.

'It's Jacob, he's in really bad shape. That newborn really got to him.'

I didn't know what to say. Suddenly, everything was hazy. Jacob, my Jacob was bitten. I knew what that ment. Vampire posion for a werewolf was deadly.

I couldn't say anything, do anything. I couldn't move, say, see anything. I couldn't even think straight. The only thing that went through my mind was: Not Jacob, my Jacob.

I didn't know how long I sat there and I didn't care. But suddenly I heard someone walk outside. I heard the door go open.

'Emmett couldn't think like a normal person again. He almost yelled it trough the room. I think she's in shock.' Rosalies voice.

I tried to see who was at the door, what they were doing. But my sight was still hazy en I couldn't find my neck to turn it.

But I could guess it were my parents who just came home. I saw shadows walk around and I felt how someone hold me.

I wanted to say something, but I failed. I couldn't do it anymore. The only thing I could think was: Jacob, my Jacob…

'Honey, are you OK? It's going to be alright, I promise.'

Slowly, everything went back to normal again. I became calm. Jasper was home. Finally. My mother hugged me and rocked me back and forth. She gave me kisses in my hair and whispered sweet things in my ear. I really wanted to say something to her, but I couldn't. Jasper made me calm, but that didn't make me normal. I knew they wanted me to say something. But I was scared that if I opened my mouth, everything would come out. That I would yell and swear. That I would hurt my family, because I was so mad at myself. So I just sat there, in my mothers arm.

'Honey, you need to eat something.'

Rosalie came to me with the familier cup, the hot steam came off. I grabbed the cup and let the warm blood slide through my throath. It was the cheeta from my birthday, but this time, I didn't care that I had something delicious. I didn't even taste it.

I looked through the room and saw that my father and Carlisle weren't here. They were probably still with Jacob. I wanted to know how he was doing, but I was still afraid to open my mouth. I lifted my hand and showed my mother what I wanted to know.

'We were just in time and we have sucked out as much posion as we could. We had to stop after a while, otherwise we would have drained him. We don't know whether all the posion is out and he lost a lot of blood. Unfortunatly, he hasn't woken up yet, but his heart is still beating. Carlisle will keep an eye on him every day and night and he does everything in his power to save him. But, there is a chance that he won't wake up…'

I didn't know how to react. Of course this was horrible news. But somewhere I was happy, there was still a chance. Somewhere there was a mini chance that he would wake up, that he could be the old Jacob again. There was a little spark of hope.

'I know how you feel. Jacob was in a big accident once before. I can't remember it that well, but I know how awful it was. I didn't know how to react either.

'Take your time, think about it. Nobody expects something from you. Find a place for your sadness. I know you can digest all of this at the end. But take your time.'

She rocked me back and forth. But it felt wrong. Why was she so sweet for me? Didn't they all see it was my fault? I did this! Jacob was alone in the woods, because I was so mean to him. He was puzzled because I hurt him. He didn't pay attention because he was thinking about me. If I wouldn't have been so mad, he would have been with me. Than he would have laid in bed with me, like always. This was my fault. And the horrible feeling I had now, was my desert. That newborn should've had me, it was my fault. Jacob was innocent. I caused all of this and now, he could never forgive me, ever.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to leave, before I destroyed the house. I wanted to scream and throw things. And everything in this house was breakable. I stood up and without saying anything I runned outside. With my motor I drove to the beach. The place where I wreaked all of this. I wasn't calm anymore, Jasper wasn't here. Finally I wasn't calm anymore. It was raining, so the beach was empty. Good. I could do what I wanted. So, I opened my mouth and, as expected, everything came out. I screamed and yelled.

'DAMN, WHY? WHY?' I threw with branches, sometimes with whole trees, I didn't care. Finally, all the frustrations came out.

'Are you OK?' I heard a voice behind me. I knew that voice. It was the person I didn't want to see right now.

'Go away! Leave me alone.' I yelled at her.  
Leah stopped, she didn't let me expel her. She only made me more mad.

'Go irritate someone else!' I screamed. She didn't listen. I wanted her to go away. And at this time I was able to use violence.

But she didn't leave. She just stood there and looked at me with a worried face. I decided to ignore her and continued.

'Sam told me to ask you to stop, all of La Push can hear you.' Leah said.

I didn't care. They could hear. They could know everything about me. It didn't matter anymore. So I continued.

Then, I felt two strong arms around me. One hand on my mouth. Normally, I could free myself from her, but I was so tired from all the screaming that I didn't bother anymore. My whole body was shaking. I let her carry me away and put me on the tree. She stood in front of me and looked at me.

'What do you want?' I said provocative. I didn't want to bo nice to Leah.

'I want you to tell me why you are screaming so loud, all of Forks can hear you.' She said it like it was obvious.

I sighed and did nothing. Why did she care? She hated me, she hated Hacob. She hated everything around her.

'Well?' she threatened.

'What do you think?' I said mad. I turned my head away. I didn't want to look at her arrogant face anymore.

'I think it has something to do with Jacob.' She guessed.

'Well, bingo. Right first time. You're trough to the fridge!' I said sarcastic.

She chuckled. I looked mad at her. It wasn't funny. Nothing was funny now. Leah took a seat next to me.

'You know, I know a lot about you. Mostly it's not nice to be in the heads of the rest of the pack, but I learn a lot from it. Jacob now knows how to control his thoughts, but when he first met you, he yelled in his thoughts about you. How beautiful and awesome and funny you were. And mostly how strong and brave. He really admires you.'

I didn't want to look at her. Why did she tell me this? Did she want to give me even more guilt? It was working.

'Look, I don't know from my own experience how it feels to be imprinted with someone. But I know how it is for Sam and Jake and Quil, I know how they feel. It's so special and complicated. I've never agreed on us imprinting, I thought it wasn't necessary.

'I never liked your mother. Jake loved her so much and all she did was hurt him. He wanted to believe that she would pick him, while everyone knew she couldn't leave Edward, that she loved him to much. Your mother hurt Jake really bad. And I know she didn't intent to do that. It just went that way. She was in love with two guys at the same time and she couldn't change it. But it broke Jake.

'And then you came. And it was great to see how happy he was, finally. He was so worried about you and continued to be amazed about how brave and strong you were. He was so proud you belonged to him. And I was happy, because I knew you would never hurt Jacob. Whatever you would say, whatever you would do, how mad you would be, someday you would tell him you were sorry and he would forgive you. You belong together and that will never change.

'I also know how much it hurts to be imprinted. If Sam looks at Emilies scars… She forgave him a long time ago, but he didn't forgive himself yet. He still hates himself for doing that to her. That's the complicated thing about imprinting.

'Look, I understand that it looks like I can't stand Jake, which was true at first. But we are much alike and I love him, as a brother. He can't hide his thoughts for me. I know what happend between you.

'I also know I don't show you that I like you. It just really hard for me to be in a house full of vampires. But I do like you, you make Jake happy. So, I want to ask you for a favor. I know I never did something for you, but this is so important for me and for everyone who loves Jacob.'

I didn't know what pull me to the story, but I believed her. For the first time since… ever… I liked Leah. I nodded.

'Will you forgive yourself, please? It's not your fault. He made a mistake by taking you by surprise and this is hard for you too. Imprinting isn't easy. I won't say that you didn't hurt him, be he hurt you too. Jake is a moron who can't control his feelings and didn't pay attention.'

I chuckled. She looked at me.

'This is not your fault. Really.

'I'm asking you this because, because you are the only person who can make him better. Visit him, talk to him, use your gift to show him he has to fight, for us, please. He really loves you… And I love him so much, I can't lose him.'

Her voice faltered. I saw the tears in her eyes. I never realised how much she cared about him. I let my vinger catch a tear.

'I can't lose him either.' I said with a quiet voice. Suddenly, everything became clear. This gave me power and hope again. It would all be OK, I knew it.

Our intimate moment was disrupted by the howl of a wolf. We were both shocked.

'Is there news?' I asked shocked.

'I'll check, wait here.' Leah runned to the woods.

I waited on the tree trunk, impatient. If Jake didn't make it, it was to late. Then I could never tell him…

Before I knew, Leah was back.

'Nothing wrong.' She comforted me. 'Sam wondered were I was. He wants me to come back. So, I have to go.' She turned around and wanted to leave.

'Leah?'

'She stopped and turned around.

'Yes?'

I blushed.

'Thanks.' I walked to her and gave her a hug. Suddenly, I really liked Leah. We could become good friends if we both wanted to.

She smiled and walked away.

I stayed on the beach for a while, but than I decided it was time to go home.

My mother came right to me and gave me a hug.

'Still no change.' She said while she stroked my hair. She looked awful. Her eyes and the circles under them turned darker every second. 'If he doesn't wake up soon, he probably won't make it.'

It was clear she had been waiting for me. Because when I was here again she wanted to go arrange things.

'I never told him.' I said to her. Shocked, she turned around. Of course, this was the first thing I said to her after my shock.

'I never told him.' I repeated it, to let her know I really said it.

Carefully, I walked to the chouch. The talk with Leah really helped me, but inside I still felt miserable. If Jacob didn't wake up, than I never told him. Than I really was to late. And I couldn't handle that.

My mother took a seat next to me and hugged me. She had the right to know what happend. She was my mother, she was everything for me. And she probably was really worried about me. I had to tell her what happend.

'We had a fight, the last time I saw him. He told me he was in love with me. I wasn't ready for change, I was scared. I wanted everything to stay as it was.

'Now, everything is different, and he doesn't know I love him. Now that he can't hear it, I find out I'm in love with him. I never told him that and now he will never know.'

We were both silent for a long time. My mother didn't know what to say to me, but I knew what I wanted.

'Can I see him, please?' I asked carefull. I knew he was very weak and he couldn't have visitors. I also knew that it would really hurt me to see him. But I wanted it anyway, I had to see him. He had to know I loved him.

My mother looked at me, saw how determined I was and nodded.

We went to La Push by car. The closer we came, the more insecure I became. I didn't know what to think of it. I wanted to see him so badly, hug him. But I didn't know if I could handle it. So fragile. I didn't know if I could handle telling him. It wasn't just someting. And suppose he died, than I did it all for nothing. I was probably even harder to lose my true love than losing my brother.

But before I could protest, we were in front of the small house of the family Black. The house were I've been so many times. My fathers Volvo was there two.

With shaking leggs I walked to the front door. Without knocking my mother opened it.

Billy Black was in the middle of the small living room, he was staring to nothing. My father was making dinner for him. He looked surprised when we came in. He walked to me and gave me a hug.

'You can go see him.'

Step by step I walked to the bedroomdoor, really slowly. I layed my hand on the heck, but I was scared to open it. I felt the eyes of my parents burning in my back. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

There he lay, on his bed. His eyes were closed. Next to him were a drip and a heart monitor. His heart was weak, his face skinny and pale and the big circles under his eyes were dark. But I could ignore all those things. There, in the bed, lay my Jacob. It looked like he was sleeping really well.

Carlisle stood up from the chair next to the bed. I scared up. I hadn't noticed his presence.

'I'll leave you two alone.' He closed the door behind me.

Now that I was alone with Jacob, I walked to the bed. My hand went to his face, slowly. His skin felt cold against mine. He didn't have the high tempature as normal. He had the same tempature as a normal human now.

I stroke my fingers over his face, felt every part beneath my fingertips. His nose, his lips, his eyelids. I stroke his hair.

I wondered if I could show him something. So I lay my hand on his hand and showed him what I wanted him to know. I showed him that I was sorry and that I loved him. That I was in love with him. I didn't know if he saw it, but I tried to make contact with him.

I was still stroking his face. I wanted to hold him. The chair where Carlisle sat on, was still in the corner. I shove it closer and took my seat. I tried to wrap my arms around Jacob, but I failed. I was still to far away. Mad I kicked the chair away. I needed more space.

On his bed was a little place. Really carefully I laid down next to him, wrapped my arms around him. I laid my head on his chest and focused on his breath.

There I lay, a long time. I focused on his heartbeat and breath, was happy I was with him. After about half an hour, my mother came in.

'Honey, we really need to go.'

I nodded and wanted to stand up. But then I realized that this may be the last time I saw him. I hugged him again.

'I can't say goodbye.' I tried to hide the tears that run over my face, but I failed. I couldn't live without Jacob. I wanted to stay here, for ever.

I looked at my mother and saw she was having a difficult time. She stood next to me and stroke my back.

'I know, love, me neither.'

If she could've cried, she would have now.

In the room next to me I heard the soft voices of Quil, Embry and Seth. They came to see Jacob too. If I stayed, it would be to busy, that's why I had to leave.

I secretly hoped they would leave, so that I could stay. My mother lost her patience and lifted me from the bed. After she'd put me down, I stayed next to the bed. I grabbed his hand and stroke it. Soft I whispered in his ear: 'Stay with me, please. I can't live without you. I love you. Hold on.' Than, I let go of his hand and walked out of the room. The small living room was pretty full because of the three tall guys. I walked to Seth and hugged him. Quil and Embry joined us. It was good to be with friends again. I felt different than family. We didn't say anything and we didn't have to. We all knew what we were thinking. I tried to dry my tears in Seths hot chest.

Carlisle came back from his inspection.

'You can go in, one by one.'

We let go. First, Seth walked into the room that I had just left. I couldn't stand here, useless. I wanted to leave.

'We're leaving.' I said with a husky voice. Quickly, I gave the boys a kiss and left.


	5. Chapter 4: The End

_Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!_

_Have fun reading._

_*I don't own anything from Twilight.*_

* * *

**RISING STAR:**

**Chapter 4. The End.**

I was waiting in my room. It was a week after the accident with Jacob. Carlisle was surprised by how long Jake survived. He didn't wake up yet, but he was alive. And that was a miracle. My mother was in the room next to me in discussion with my father. She thought I had the right to be with Jacob, but my father said he needed rest. I didn't know what I wanted. On the one hand, I wanted to have Jacob in my arms. I wanted to be with him. On the other side I didn't, because I knew nothing would've changed. I knew he would still be in the bed, his eyes closed. His body would still be cold, his heartbeat irregular. I didn't want to be with Jacob like that. Because, after I saw him more like that, he didn't look asleep anymore. He looked dead. And I didn't want to see that, I didn't want dead Jacob. I want alive Jacob, my Jacob. The old Jacob, as he always was.

On my desk lay all the birthday presents, unused. I walked to it and grabbed my diary, paged through it. Every page was still empty, intended for me to write my feelings down. But I couldn't give words to my feelings, let alone write them down.

My mother came in. 'We can go see him, are you coming?'

Jacob looked exactly like expected. Nothing changed. Carlisle left me alone with him. I didn't know what to do, he still looked so fragile. I just stood there, next to the bed and looked at him, listened to his heart beat. It went more irregular than last time.

Then, everything became clear. This was the end. In a few hours, his heart would stop beating and he would never wake up. It was too late. I lost him. He would never wake up and it was my fault. My knies went weak, I sank to the floor and cried.

'What's up?' I heard a soft, husky voice say. My eyes got big. I must have imagened that. With a jerk I turned my head to the bed.

'Why are you crying?' Jacob. There he lay, his eyes open. I didn't believe what I saw. I must have been dreaming. This couldn't be true.

Full of surprise I looked at him.

'What's happening?' Jacob insisted. His voice wasn't more than a whisper, but I could hear him well.

'Oh. My. God.' I burst out. I was still staring at him. He grinned.

I panicked. What should I do? Did I have to help him? Could it be true? Could he really be awake? But then he should be in a lot of pain.

'Carlisle!' I screamed, while I knew he would hear me if I whispered.

Before I could blink, Carlisle stood next to the bed.

'Welcome back!' He said, before he explained to Jacob what happend in detail. I stared at Carlisle with big eyes. I still couldn't do anything, say anything. I just sat there, on the ground. I looked at what was happening but I couldn't record it.

Carlisle came, after his examenation, sitting in front of me. He knew I didn't understand what was happening.

'He's awake. And he's fine. I'll leave you two alone.'

I waited untill Carlisle was out of the room. Then I stood up and walked to the bed. I desired this moment and now it was happening. All the tension from the past week fell off of me. His beautiful brown eyes, got me back to reality. I layed my hand on his cheek.

'Renesmee, I…'

'Jacob, I love you. No, I'm in love with you. And I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I didn't tell you before and that I acted so childish. And I'm espacially sorry you're laying here. But, I'm in love with you, I love you!'

Jacob looked at me. Slowly, there came a big smile on his face. He brought his shaking big hand to my face and wiped my wet eyes dry.

'I love you too.' He whispered hoarse.

I grabbed his hand, that was still on my face. Slowly I brought my face closer to his. Very carefully I pushed my lips on his.

I expected it to feel weird. Kissing the boy I'd seen as my brother for years. But it felt normal. As if it was supposed to be this way, which was true. Actually, it felt really good and I didn't want to stop.

But unfortunatly we had to, because Jacob was out of breath. Fast I pulled my lips from his and he coughed a few times.

'I'm Sorry.' I mumbled. I felt my cheeks turn pink.

'I'm not, that was great.' Jacob whispered with a big grin on his face.

We heard a quiet knock on the door. My mother came in.

'Jacob?' Her voice sounded tense.

'Present.' Jacob lifted his hand.

He really was back, his humor confirmed that.

'Oh, Jake!' My mother runned to him and hugged him.

My father also came in and hugged him. It was weird to see how they treated Jacob. I always forgot they were friends with him too.

The hours after that were so busy in the little house of the Blacks. Everyone wanted to see Jacob. I didn't get he chance to be alone with him again. When it all became too much for me, I walked outside to Jacobs garage. I took a seat on his bike and looked around. This was all so familiar. In the past, had been here for hours with Jacob, we worked together on small repairs for his friends. He thought me everything I knew.

Suddenly, all the tension came out. I had been so scared. And I was so relieved he was finally awake. After all this time I spend in fear.

The whole garage became fuzzy and turned. Quickly, I put my head between my knees and tried to breath calm.

'Honey, are you OK?' I heard a familiar voice say. My father came looking for me.

'Almost.' I awnsered.

My father chuckled and sat next to me.

'All of it just comes out.' I assured him. I didn't like him seeing me like this.

'Just let it go. It'll be good for you. You didn't cry a tear this week.' He comforted me.

'I did.' I helped him remember. But he didn't listen. He grabbed me and pushed me toward him. I tried to stop my tears, but I couldn't. My father was so sweet to me and that all made it worse. I gave up soon and let my tears flow. It felt good to lay in my fathers arms, it felt safe.

I thought it would be weird to be as old as my father. I pushed it away and pretent I was five years old. But era's were different with me. And because everything was different in my life, I found out I was fooling myself. I wanted to hold on to my youth, that had already passed. I was seventeen, just as my father. And that wasn't weird, it was really normal. It felt good. How old I would be, he would always be my dad. I knew that I would grow older, be a grown up and he would stay seventeen forever. I didn't care. He was just my father, the best father someone could ever have.

I didn't have to cry anymore, everything was alright. But still I put my head back on his chest. It just felt really good to have a moment with my daddy.

'Congratulation with your first kiss.'

Shocked I looked up. Shoot, he heard everything. I looked at him, mad, but because of his grin on his face I had to laugh. Well, what did it matter? He would've found out anyway. Especially since he can read my mind.

'Ready to go back? Leah is here and she's asking for you.'

I stood up. My father wanted to walk away, but I stopped him and flew him around the neck.

'Thanks dad, for everything.' He smiled proud and hugged back. Then, we walked back to the house, hand in hand.

Before I was in the house, Leah hugged me.

'Oh Ness, I'm so happy! Thank you thank you thank you!'

I laughed. 'You're welcome. Even though I'm not sure I did something.'

There we stood, Leah and me, laughing together. I never thought I would do that with her. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Seth staring at us. I looked at him and runned to him. He hugged me insantly.

Seth really was a good friend of mine. We didn't have to say anything, because we knew what we were thinking. He was the one that had the least trouble with the fact that my family were vampires. I always thought it was special how he looked at us, so honorfull. I knew how the Quileutes looked at us. But now Jake was imprinted on me, nothing could be changed and I could get along well with the pack, but we still were the cold ones. But it looked like Seth didn't care. He was a good friend of mine and my family and that was really special. Seth was really special.

Leah stood next to us.

'Everthing is alright again, isn't it?' She whispered and smiled. Yes, everything really was alright again. I still couldn't believe it. I really thought it was over for the past few days. I already prepared for the loss of my everything and thought about all the ways to live through it. I also thought of ways to end my life if I couldn't handle all of it. But I didn't need it, because everything was alright again. Unbelievable, everything was alright again. This was the end of al the waiting, the end of the insecurity, the end of al the fuss. It was finally over.

It was so typical that the first drops of rain came out of the air at that moment. I still lived in Forks, so it wasn't a weird thing that it was raining. But I found it typical. As if that also confirmed it was over, that all the angels in heaven cried because the great Jacob did not joint hem yet. In a few seconds the first drips were grown to a downpour.

I laughed and runned away from the door, into the rain. I stuck my tongue out to heaven, to the angels. Jake was still with me, he was mine. Lauging I runned trough the rain. I made myself dirty, because the mudd splashed up. That made the fun even bigger. I grabbed a clot of mud and threw it in the direction of the wall. It landed exactly in Leahs hair. Normally she would have made a deadly comment and runned away, but the new Leah smiled and runned to me. And that's how the mudfight started. I couldn't see who joined us, the only thing I saw was mud flying. I didn't have this much fun in along time.

'Renesmee, Jacob is asking for you.' I heard someone yell from the house. I turned around and Carlisle stood by the door. Quickly I runned towards him. Jake asked for me, he wanted to see me. And I wanted to see him.

I shook al the mud I could off of me before I got inside. It didn't really work, I was still totally dirty. Carlisle smiled and winked at me. It didn't matter.

Quickly I walked towards the bedroom and eagerly I pushed the door open.

Jacob still looked weak. He had his eyes open, but he was still very skinny and he had massive ramparts.

'What did you do?' He asked curious.

I walked towards him, gave him a kiss and sat on the edge of the bed.

'Well, there's a big mudfight outside to celebrate you're awake. And it's possible that I might have started it.'

He chuckled, but his laughter ended in cough. I grabbed him and I layed my head on his chest. He felt a little bit warmer already. He was going to be better. Everything would be fine. Finally everything was fine.

He put his arms around me.

'So, what did I miss? You grew again, that really isn't funny anymore.'

I smiled.

'You didn't miss anything. I feel like the world has stopped.'

He felt my grief and said nothing.

'I missed you.' I whispered in his warm chest. He pushed me closer to him.

'Whatever happens, I will stay with you forever. I'm not leaving you.'

He smiled. 'How did you get tot hat suddenly?'

'If my family moves, I'm not coming with them. I know how it feels to lose you for a week, and I can't handle it. I can't live without you. Whatever my parents do, I'm staying with you. I'm not leaving.'

It stayed silent. I listened to Jacobs breath, that didn't change. I thought for a second I hurt him. But then he said: 'Are you sure?'

I lifted my head so that I could look at him.

'I've never been so sure of anything before.' I gave him a kiss.

I looked into is eyes and knew it was fine, everything was fine.


	6. Chapter 5: Farewell

_Sorry you guys needed to wait so long. But I finally translated everything. This it the last chapter! ENJOY!_

_Note before: I'm Dutch myself, I wrote this in Dutch and I translated this myself. I'm really sorry for all the mistakes I made, I hope you guys still understand the storyline!_

_Have fun reading._

_*I don't own anything from Twilight.*_

* * *

**RISING STAR:**

**Chapter 5. Farewell.**

I woke up slowly with the Jacobs arms around me. I had a double feeling about today. I didn't look foward to it, but on the other side I did. I knew I had to get up, it wouldn't be long until they would leave. But I just wanted to enjoy this moment. I lay in my own room in my own bed with Jacob next to me. Everything was still allright. The bedroom next to me was still my parents' room. I did wonder what they did there, because they couldn't sleep. But if I thought about it logical I knew.

But this afternoon this house was mine and Jacobs, where we were going to live here together. It was so unreal. Jacob and me would be togehter.

The past few weeks were so hard. Jacob had to rehabilitate, that took an eternity. I couldn't wait until I could take him to the beach again, but he had to get stronger first. And from my side, that getting stronger went in mouse steps. It took a week to get out of bed anyway. Then, he could stand for a second before he collapsed. I stayed with him, even though I couldn't look at him. It was frightening how much he struggled with normal things. But I hold his hand, smiled at every progress he made, even though it went to slow. I knew he got support out of it. I felt it. So I stayed with him, all the time.

And just when Jacob was starting to get better, just when I could go on with my life again, grandpa Charlie got sick. He had a heartattack. Luckily my mother was with him and he got treated soon, but he wasn't allright. I stood next to the hospital bed, just like I had done with Jacob. But this time, my sweet words didn't help…

My mother was devastated. She walked back and foward trough the house without doing anything. After a while my father finally got her to lay in bed. He played piano for her and she tried to relax. I looked at her. She didn't look relaxed at all, the contrary. It was a miracle she was laying on the bed. But every mussle in her body was tight. She looked terrible. She hadn't hunted in weeks, so the circled under her eyes were bigger and darker then ever.

I wanted to help her, to comfort her. Slowly, carefull for every step, I walked over to her. I layed beside her on the bed. Carefully I put my arms around her. I was really close to her. I layed my hand on her cheek and showed her soothing images. I hoped she would finally relax. Softly I hummed along with the music of my father. Slowly, a normal human wouldn't notice, I felt her body next to me relax. Finally, she was resting. Even if it was only for fifteen minutes, she had the peace she was looking for.

Suddenly, she sat upright in the bed. I was shocked by it, the strenght that went with it.

'My mom.' She whispered.

My father took his hands off of the piano.

I didn't understand. I knew my mother had a mother. But my parents had never told anything about my grandma. Probably, they had a good reason, because within a second they were panicked, talking to each other. Trying to find a solution for the problem: Mother. I tried to follow their conversation.

'My mother can't come here, she can't. If she sees me like this…. She isn't the same as Charlie. I can't put her in danger.' My mother yelled.

'But you can't let her miss this. Charlie was her husband once, he was the father of her daughter. She has to know that…'

'Don't say it! I can't handle that.' My mother clipped my dad. I had never seen them like this before, it looked like they were in a fight. They were so rude to each other, it scared me.

'What do I do then? If she comes to Forks, she wants to see me.'

'I'm afraid you can't keep her away. She desirves the chance to say goodbye to Charlie.'

'They I have to leave…'

My mother said it before I knew it. They were going to leave. Jacobs accident had convinced them that they coulnd't just go, not for me and not for Jacob. My mother couldn't do it. It didn't matter what was happening in Seattle, they would stay here. And now they were talking about leaving again. My mother looked determined. I didn't even know why, I didn't know what they were talking about. And I wouldn't leave, mother or no mother, I would stay here.

'Renesmee, you don't have a choice.' My dad started after he heard everything I thought.

'Listen, I'll explain.'

He walked over to me and sat next to me.

'Bella turned into a vampire at your birth, you know that. And you know her parents, or at least grandpa Charlie, doesn't really know what we are.'

I sighed. Yes, they made that clear to me. But grandpa Charlie wasn't here anymore…

'But that went well, right? Grandpa Charlie never found out. I just don't understand what the problem is!'

'Mommy's mother lives in Florida. Grandma hasn't seen her after her transformation. Her name is Renée, grandma Renée. But grandma Renée doesn't know that Bella became like this. And she isn't the same as grandpa Charlie. She wouldn't believe us that fast. And we can't put her in danger.'

'What are you trying to say?' I insisted. I still didn't understand.

'That if grandma Renée sees me, she would probably scream and demand us to tell the truth. And she can't know the truth.' My mother said. She sat on the couch, literally with her hands in her hair. I felt sorry for her. She wanted to protect her mother by not seeing her. That seemed horrible to me. I couldn't live without my mother, why did my mother had to live without hers?

I walked over to her and sat on her lap. I was far to big for that, but it felt good. She wrapped her arms around me.

'Just take a vacation then,' I whispered in her ear. 'Go away for a week or two and then come back.'

My mother sighed. I saw, at the lines in her forehead, that she was thinking.

'I don't know if I can do that. This place hurts too much. I think I really like going away for a while. And, my mother will only leave if she knows I won't come back, if everything of me is gone.'

Now it was my turn to sigh. She made her decision, and so did I.

'You know I'll stay here.' I said to her.

She pushed me closer to her, I put my head my head on her chest.

'I know.'

My mother said her goodbyes to Charlie in the past days, a sort of own funeral and my family made plans. And now it was almost time to go.

I turned around, with the two arms around me. I looked at Jacobs face. He was sleeping with his mouth open, not that charming, but really cute. I leaned to him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Slowly he woke up. When he realized where he was, he looked at me.

'That's a good way to wake up.' He said. He kissed me soft and tenderly.

For the umpteeth time this week I realised how happy I was with him. He was so sweet and I knew he would never hurt me. Not after everything that had happened. Everytime I looked at him I got jitters in my belly. And I knew that he was the one I wanted to share my life with.

I heard a soft know on the door, my father came in.

'Everyone is waiting for you, sleepyheads.'

He chuckled. I was already next to the bed with the wardrobe open. What outfit was right for something like this? I had no idea.

'Take your time, we won't leave without goodbyes. And Renesmee, you are pretty anyway.' My father walked over to me and gave me a kiss on my head. Then he gave me time to dress up. I decided to just go for an simple jeans, a loose shirt and a cardigan. I brushed my hair and put on my sneakers.

'Are you ready?' I asked Jacob. As if I had to ask. He only had to put on his short. But today, he put a shirt on for the occassoin. He walked over to me and hugged me.

'It's going to be okay.'

I sighed, I knew that. But it was so tensive to say goodbye to my family. I had never lived a day without them and now they left without me. Now I only had Jacob. Just for a second I doubted my decision. But then I felt his strong arms around me and I knew I was doing the right thing.

'Well, let's go.' I grabbed his hand and together we runned to the house of the Cullens. I had to hold in, because I runned faster, he was human. And he couldn't turn into a wolf, because of his rehabilitation.

I was shocked when I saw the house. It was empty. There was nothing left. Everything was gone. My family was there, with a lot of suitcases.

I sighed and look around again. This made everything very real.

It looked like my mother had arranged this. Because, as if someone let him know, Jasper stepped foward.

'Bye, sweet Renesmee.' He said. He did nothing else. He just stood before me. And he made me calm. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.

'Bye, sweet Jasper.' I whispered. Though I knew the whole room had heard.

After that came Alice, then Emmett, grandpa Carlisle, grandma Esme and then Rosalie. I saw she had a hard time with the fact she had to let me go. But she didn't followed the example of her family and walked past Jacob, as if he didn't exsist. The rest of the family said goodbye to him too. But I knew the relationship between Jacob and Rosalie wasn't good, at all.

And there was the big moment. I had to say goodbye to my parents. Untill now I felt empty inside. As if I didn't have emotions. That I had to say goodbye to my family did something to me, but I didn't feel it. I felt nothing. But the two most important people came right now.

With heavy feet my father walked over to me and looked at me. Right before me he stopt, first without doing anything. I looked at him, took everyting in. Every little detail I remembered. I never wanted to forget his face, I wanted to remind myself of his face whenever I wanted.

When I was sure I had everything, I leaned against him. He pulled me closer. My head layed on his shoulder. His scent I also remembered. I remembered everything about him, the best father in the world. Softly he kissed me on my forehead, as he had done so many times. But this would be the last time in a really long time. I wrapped my arms around him and pushed me closer to him.

'I'm really going to miss you, dad.' I cried. The empty feeling was gone, made place for the grief I missed. It wasn't a bad thing that I cried, it was good. I felt how much I cared about them, how much I was going to miss them. I knew how much I loved them again.

'I'm going to miss you too, love.' I heard my father say. It sounded like he had a lump in his throath.

We stood like that for a while. Untill I felt like it was okay. Then I let go.

My father walked over to Jacob to say goodbye to him. I just looked at my mother. She had her head down. She didn't walk over to me, she didn't do anything. At that moment I knew this was harder for her than for me.

Because she couldn't do anything, I walked over to her. I didn't really know what to do. She looked so fragile, as if she could fall apart of grief every second.

'Bella?' I heared my dad behind me. He walked over to my mom and put one arm around her.

And then I knew what to do. I put my hand on her cheek. I knew that my dad would look to what I was going to show my mother. I wanted them both to see it.

I showed my parents memories. Every memory I had of the past five years. Of my childhood, how everyone coddled me. My first steps, my first words, my first time hunting. Every good memory. Also the hard memories, like my meeting with the Volturi. And the time when I started puberty, when I was four. I was really transverse then. With a smile I showed them my frustrations of that time. They didn't make sense now. I remembered them that one time that we were in this big fight, because I wanted to to a normal school.

'But you're not a normal child, you're really special.' They told me.

I yelled at them, furious. 'I'm not special, I'm different, and I don't want to be! I want to be normal. Because different is shit!' And then I runned away, stomping. But within an hour I came back to apologize. Of course they couldn't help that I was like I was. And I could be proud of myself.

And that one time I didn't want to hunt. That I discontinued and didn't want to eat at all. My parents didn't know what to do anymore. They begged me to tell them why I didn't want to.

I told them: 'Jacob is a wolf, he is an animal. Then I can't kill animals. It's like I'm killing him.' Then I grabbed the nasty human food and eat it all. I thought it was disgusting, but I pretended like it was fine. I told them I would live on that. My dad reminded me, laughing, that Jacob hunted animals sometimed too. Then, I quickly forgot my anti-hunt idea.

I showed my parents every wonderful memory I had and every memory we would get. This was a goodbye, but is was not the end.

I showed them how much respect I had for them, how strong I thought they were. How brave. And that they would be my example. That I loved their way of life. And that I loved them.

Slowly, I dropped my hand. I looked at her.

'I love you so much, mom.' I told her.

'I love you more.' She said.

'I don't think that's possible.' I giggled. 'Let's call it a tie.'

She looked at me and at the same moment we laughed. Then I knew it was okay. No hard or emotional goodbye, that was not how it was supposed to be. Our goodbye should be cheerfull, just like our gathering. I was happy.

I hugged her and my father. We had a moment together, just the three of us. And when we were ready, we let go. It was okay like this.

'You are going to miss your plane.' I said. I looked at the rest of my family. They were ready to leave.

My mother gave me one last kiss and we looked each other in the eye. And then she grabbed her bags and they walked trough the door. Everyone waved at me and runned away. Exept for my parents, they stood still. I saw my mother struggled with leaving. She looked at me.

Then I felt the last tear on my cheek. I waved at my family. My mother looked at me once and runned away,

Then, the house really was empty, only Jacob and I were still here. He grabbed me.

'You're so strong and sweet. I love you.'

I looked at him and got a weird feeling in my stomach. As if the butterflies that lived there woke up when I looked at Jacob. They were going crazy now.

He grabbed my face and braught it to his. My lips were pressed to his soft satin lips. Kissing with Jacob was the best thing I had in life. And then I knew why we didn't say goodbye, why I stayed here. For him. The love of my life. For Jacob.

'Ness, are you finally ready?' I heard Jacob ask through the door. I stood in front of the mirror.

Physically I was ready. I slept well. I bought a special dress for this day, my hair was perfect, I did my make-up. Psysically I was totally ready. But mentally not. I didn't know if I could do this. I was scared about what I was going to do. I didn't expect to struggle so much with it. I didn't even knew what it was I was afraid of. Saying goodbye to grandpa wouldn't be as hard as saying goodbye to my mother. Why was I so scared? Why was this so hard?

'Ness?' Jacob asked again.

'One minute.' I awnsered.

'We have to go now or we're going to be late.' Jacob said.

I sighed. At this moment I wanted to pause te time. So that I could have one moment for myself. I grabbed the lipstick and smeared a tirth layer on my lips.

'We also have to pick up my dad.'

Since Jacob and I had this house together, Billy lived alone. He could take care of himself, he said. And he had the help of Emily, who was there daily.

Jacob came in the room.

'Ness, we really have to go.'

I looked at him. Ok, it was time now.

'Ok, let's go.' I walked passed him, took my coat from the peg and walked over to the car.

Billy was already waiting in front of the house. We could drive straight to the cemetery.

Jacob had his arm wrapped around me the whole time. Maybe this was even harder for him than for me. He knew Charlie better, longer. Especially Billy had a hard time. He lost all of his friend now. A few years ago Harry and now Charlie. I felt so sorry for him.

The funeral was nice. There were beautiful pictures, I picked them out with my mother. But now, on this big screen they looked different. More real. I wish she could have been here to see it. People said nice things about him. I cried on Jacobs shoulder, we supported each other. It was the funeral he would've wanted. It felt good, a proper goodbye.

At the cemetry he had a good spot. Everyone threw roses on the coffin. It was beautiful. After everyone left I stayed there, with Jacob. We didn't say anything, we just looked at the grave, the roses.

'I'm going to see how Billy is doing.' Jacob said after a while. He kissed me. 'Are you coming?'

I looked at him.

'Go ahead. I want to stay here for a little while.' He nodded and kissed me again. Then he walked away.

I looked at the grave. I was happy I had some time alone with Charlie. I grabbed the letter my mom wrote for him out of my bag. I opened it.

'Dear daddy.' I started. I promised my mother that I would read it out loud, if I was alone with him.

'Bella?' I heard a voice behind me. Shocked, I turned aroud. This was the moment I had been scared for, I just realised that. I looked into the eyes of the woman behind me and knew that it was my grandma. She fitted the descripting of my mother perfectly, but I felt it too. She looked like my mother, my grandma. She gave me the same feeling. I saw fear in her eyes when she looked at me. How long had it been since she had seen my mother? I looked like my mom. Maybe she thought I was Bella. But I couldn't let her know I knew Bella, she couldn't know who I was. I would not screw up the reason why my mother left.

'I'm sorry?' I asked her, as convincing as I could.

She looked at me. I tried to play my part as convincing as I could. I had to pretend I was an outsider.

'I'm not Bella.' I said quiet.

The woman who was my grandma, looked at me even more confused. She recognized me. Or, she recognized the Bella in me. She recognized the traits. I tried to act as indifferent as I could.

'Oh, sorry. You really look like my daughter. I would alsmost say you were her daughter.' I looked at her, tried not to look shocked. This was a normal reaction. Renee was my mothers mother. Of course she recognized her in me, that was normal. I laughed so that she would notice how shocked I was.

'She has to be here somewhere, my daughter. Her name is Bella. Do you know her?' My grandma asked me. I thought about it. Should I know her? Should the role I was playing know her?

'Yes, she is a really good friend of mine.' I said to my grandma.

'Is she here somewhere?' She asked hopefull.

I looked at her. Pity was already boss over me. I didn't want to hurt her.

'She, ehm, she doesn't live here anymore.' I admitted hesitantly.

I looked at my grandma. I saw how her grief hit her. The emotion in her eyes was clear. Slowly, there was a soft sobbing sound, it came from her side.

'I'm sorry.' She told me. 'I really expected her to be here. I haven't seen her in five years.'

I didn't know what to do. Something inside me yelled I had to run. But I couldn't do it. I wanted to comfort the poor woman. She stood at the grave of her ex-husband, where she expected to see her daughter. No daughter and no father. I wanted to tell her the truth, because I couldn't look at this grief. But I knew I had to control myself.

I walked over to her and wrapped my arm around her.

'I'm sorry. She moved a couple of days ago. She couldn't handle burrying her father. I'm really sorry.'

She looked down. I looked at her face. She looked older than my mother desribed. She had more lines.

There arose a wind, it blew around us. My arms got covered with a layer of goosebumps. It was a miracle it was dry. Suddenly I remembered the letter I was reading.

'I'm sorry, but I really have to do something.' I said quickly. I walked back to the grave. I didn't want to be rude, but I really had to do this.

'Can I ask you something?' My grandma asked. She grabbed my arm. I turned around. 'How is she? Is she still married to Edward? Is she happy?'

I looked at her. What was I supposed to say? Could I say she had a daughter? Or should I lie? I lied to her the whole time. But I didn't want to lie to her. She looked like such a sweet lady. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I was her granddaughter. I wanted so much….

But I couldn't, I promised my mother. I would lie whatever I said.

'She's fine, despite of her father dying. She had a good relationship with Charlie, it was hard to let him go. But despite of that, she's fine. She's still with Edward and she's happy.' I tried to tell it as happy as possible, it wasn't easy. The grief of the woman in front of me was easy to see, even for a normal human. It felt like she screamed out of hurt without opening her mouth.

'Thank you.' She mumbeled. She turned around, ready to go. I looked at her leaving.

'You're welcome.' I whispered. She probably didn't hear it. I wiped a tear from my face. I never planned the first meeting with my grandma like this. This wasn't like grandma Esme. The woman I just met was broken from grief. And that hurted me, so much…

I turned to the grace of Charlie. It didn't help to think about it all the time. My mother didn't want to see my grandma again, she would never know about my existence. And that was fine. I guess that happend a lot in the human world.

With shaking hands I unfolded the paper again.

'Dear daddy. I'm sorry I'm not here today, I just couldn't do it. But I love you so much, to the moon and back.'

I smiled at my mothers letter. I felt the same thing. I loved my mother, my father. I lover granda Charlie. And I loved Jacob. To the moon, along all the stars and back.


End file.
